You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It was confusing and full of hummus
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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