Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
