That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
