He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
