Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
ok first of all what the fuck
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
