i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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