yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
tell me about the fingering
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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