I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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