what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
