kristin has been a bad kristin
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
