i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
