can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
