i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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