Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
