Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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