Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
