...so i touched it.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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