Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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