She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
is it fun? or sober?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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