watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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