I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
