i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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