Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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