forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
handjob tips. give me some.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
