I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
