yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my shit smells like andre
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
