He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
