A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
