please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
