What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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