You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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