No stitches, just platelets and will power
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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