giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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