Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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