The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
