Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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