There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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