that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
