So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
