covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
well I can't set my house on fire every night
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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