What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
