He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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