i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
