he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
