If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
