the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
