The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
