just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
