Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
