she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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