the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
