It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
